Journey of Unexpected Blessings: Three Under Three

I often hear about the struggles people face when transitioning and adding another child to the mix. So, I decided to sit down and really think about my own journey when it came to adding kids to our lives. We welcomed our first child into the world in February 2020.

I relished in his new baby scent, snuggles, and sweet noises. I took a million pictures a day of our newest addition. Putting on his cute little outfits and knowing he was all mine. We were lucky, he slept through the night from day one, and he napped like a champ. He was sweet and didn’t cry much unless he was hungry.

Breastfeeding was a struggle for six months. I tried so hard, went through the physical and emotional pain of trying to feed my child. We started supplementing with formula when he was three days old. He humored me trying to breastfeed for six months, and I finally came to terms with the fact that, for us, it was not in our journey. After this, there were a lot fewer tears and frustration. This was my first lesson in letting go of things that I cannot control.

Then, a month later, the world shut down. Being a mom, especially a new mom, can already be isolating, but add in the world shutting down, your husband working two jobs, and working from home…

It was a crazy time. I had to learn how to be a mom and navigate this world when everyone was afraid. My mom couldn’t come over. Our family couldn’t come over. My husband had two jobs that were considered essential and was working all the time. The way I coped was to go on walks. Thank goodness for good weather. I would go on three-hour walks at a time. Just my boy and I.

Another saving grace was a friend who isolated with us. She would come over every day, and we would work from home together, watch Love Island, and she was first in line for all of my parenting questions. She has continued to be a fixture in our lives and lessen the loneliness that can come with motherhood.

When my son was eight months old, I got the biggest shock... I was pregnant again. Seeing as we had tried for five years with my first and had to go through infertility treatment to conceive, this happening on its own didn’t seem plausible. I was excited to experience another pregnancy and to give our quiet boy a lifetime buddy. I got to work on decorating our newest addition's nursery and researching the best techniques to introduce a new baby to our family. We got a baby doll to show our son how to be gentle with a baby. I prepared a special basket of toys for him for when I would be feeding the new baby, and I included him in baby preparations where appropriate.

I always feel guilty because life was a blur from then until my second was born. I was working from home and keeping my baby/toddler entertained. I tried to nap when he napped to keep my energy levels up. I look back at pictures from this time and try so hard to remember it. Trying to remember my oldest son's firsts. All of my firsts.

Alas, our second was born. He was just as perfect as his big brother. Full of baby snuggles and sweet smiles. He was full of personality from day one, and I knew he would be just what his older brother and we needed to pull us out of our quiet lives. Life with two was fun and full of love and laughter. Life was balanced and chaotic at the same time. Our boys were turning into best friends, and every day was like a WWE wrestling match.

My second child is and was the opposite of our first born. He did not sleep through the night, in fact, he didn’t sleep through the night until he was a year and a half years old. He only napped once or twice a day. He liked to be awake and part of the action. But I was able to breastfeed him. If he wasn’t sleeping, he was eating.

Then, a little over a year later, we received another shock... I was pregnant again! I know, I know... how could this be a shock!? Let me tell you, we took all precautions. Even biologically it should not have been possible. But here we were. We were not planning on a third. My husband had even scheduled his snip-snip appointment... we actually found out the day before his initial consultation. We knew our lives would change... But we were excited. This just brought on different considerations than when we welcomed our second child. Where would this baby sleep? How would the kids adjust? What did this mean for my business? How would we handle being outnumbered?

At the beginning, I was stressed. But after a couple of months, I just talked about it with my husband, and we just decided we would do what we always do... deal with these things when the time comes. For the first couple of months, he would be in our room anyway. Being able to let go allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy and the time we had left of being a family of four.

I am so happy I let go because when number three came... he truly completed our family. Our boys adored him from the start and were the best big brothers. One of the biggest issues was worrying about them kissing and hugging him too much.

We scheduled their naps at the same times, I was less worried about it always being quiet in the house, we maintained our routines. Having my third child has definitely made me more “chill” with so many aspects of life. Having three under three isn’t always easy. It requires us to constantly be on our toes. There are big emotions and many teaching moments for them and us. While adding new additions is life-changing, I can’t imagine it any other way.